Monday, June 15, 2015
burn me with fire, drown me with rain
I needed to do what I did today. I needed some time alone to adjust my feelings and thoughts. Sometimes, I don't even know what I want anymore. I don't know what makes me happy anymore. I just want to lie in bed and mope. This is my moment of vulnerability.
I thought of the possibility of me getting the items on my want/need list. But instead of feeling all euphoric, I felt a tinge of emptiness instead. I want to escape from here. I could not deal with this anymore. I'm on auto-pilot mode and my happiest moment is when I'm lying on bed, ready to fall asleep. Right now, I don't even know how to pick myself up. I just hope writing all these down will get it out of my system.
I hope this feeling tide over and I get back my positivity in life.